View The Austin Gastronomist blog the traditional way– in reverse chronological order starting with the most recent post.
yay for reading!
Good idea, Travis. I don’t know that cool computer language, so I am just going to put stars by the ones I’ve read. I hope my other LJ friends will do the same… books are fun 
**Beowulf
**Achebe, Chinua – Things Fall Apart
Agee, James – A Death in the Family
**Austen, Jane – Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James – Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel – Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul – The Adventures of Augie March
**Brontë, Charlotte – Jane Eyre
**Brontë, Emily – Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert – The Stranger
Cather, Willa – Death Comes for the Archbishop
**Chaucer, Geoffrey – The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton – The Cherry Orchard
**Chopin, Kate – The Awakening
**Conrad, Joseph – Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore – The Last of the Mohicans
**Crane, Stephen – The Red Badge of Courage
Dante – Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel – Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel – Robinson Crusoe
**Dickens, Charles – A Tale of Two Cities
**Dostoyevsky, Fyodor – Crime and Punishment
**Douglass, Frederick – Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore – An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre – The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George – The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph – Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo – Selected Essays
Faulkner, William – As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William – The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry – Tom Jones
**Fitzgerald, F. Scott – The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave – Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox – The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von – Faust
**Golding, William – Lord of the Flies
**Hardy, Thomas – Tess of the d’Urbervilles
**Hawthorne, Nathaniel – The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph – Catch-22
**Hemingway, Ernest – A Farewell to Arms
**Homer – The Iliad
**Homer – The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor – The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale – Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous – Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik – A Doll’s House
James, Henry – The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry – The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James – A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
**Kafka, Franz – The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong – The Woman Warrior
**Lee, Harper – To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair – Babbitt
**London, Jack – The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas – The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García – One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman – Bartleby the Scrivener
**Melville, Herman – Moby Dick
**Miller, Arthur – The Crucible
Morrison, Toni – Beloved
O’Connor, Flannery – A Good Man is Hard to Find
O’Neill, Eugene – Long Day’s Journey into Night
**Orwell, George – Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris – Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia – The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan – Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel – Swann’s Way
Pynchon, Thomas – The Crying of Lot 49
**Remarque, Erich Maria – All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond – Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry – Call It Sleep
**Salinger, J.D. – The Catcher in the Rye
**Shakespeare, William – Hamlet
**Shakespeare, William – Macbeth
**Shakespeare, William – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
**Shakespeare, William – Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard – Pygmalion
**Shelley, Mary – Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon – Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander – One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
**Sophocles – Antigone
**Sophocles – Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John – The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis – Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher – Uncle Tom’s Cabin
**Swift, Jonathan – Gulliver’s Travels
Thackeray, William – Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David – Walden
Tolstoy, Leo – War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan – Fathers and Sons
**Twain, Mark – The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire – Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. – George Bergeron
Walker, Alice – The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith – The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora – Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt – Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar – The Picture of Dorian Gray
**Williams, Tennessee – The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia – To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard – Native Son
Yesterday was a good day. Tim, Beth, Katie and I went to the UT- Nebraska game in the morning and had an awesome time. Katie and I decided that we should go to more basketball games. I saw Chris (who was wonderful and got me 4 really good (like 8 rows up) seats for free) working with the basketball band, and he smiled at me and waved at Katie, who got really excited. Now she has a crush on Jay Watkins, the head basketball band guy who is married and older. (But who am I to talk?) (No, Chris is not married. or that much older) (Don’t you dare comment, Corey Jo.) After the game I went to the music school to practice. and practice and practice and practice. All in all I got about 2 hours of playing in and 3 hours of reed work done. Hooray! I am finally feeling better about school starting Tuesday. I wonder what parts I’ll get in symphony band and U orchestra. I hope I get first, but not on every single piece. It’ll be really nice if Lindsey does UO, so that way we can have a mini-rotation of sorts in there and I won’t have to go to the entire 2 hour rehearsal late every Tuesday and Thursday night. Plus, she’ll make the experience as a whole more bearable- maybe she’ll even play a little English horn? One can only hope.
Today I am going to a friend’s place for a playoff party (GO EAGLES!!)that will last for most of the day. I know that one game starts at 2-ish, and the other around 5, so I will probably not get anything productive done today at all. Except for eating lots of junk food and drinking some beer… does that count as productive? I will, however, go buy my dad a birthday card and figure out whether or not to get an XM radio thing like Chris’ for him for his birthday. I figure it’s just a little more than a hundred bucks, and it would make his drive to McKinney every day easier. But only if he can figure out how to use it. Oh, and Beth, if you’re reading this, don’t forget that Dad’s birthday is January 29th. That’s one week from Thursday, so you should get his card this week. Props to you if you already have it done. I’m impressed.
Ok, folks. I’m off to get ready and stuff. I am not sure yet what to wear to this party thing, since I’ll be meeting Chris’ friends for the first time.I’m leaning toward something casual and feminine, but not overtly sexy. Katie helped me pick out a shirt and I’m wearing my skinny jeans which, thank God, finally fit again after my Christmas gluttony. YAY!
no details just yet
Ok. so I’m officially not single. but I’m not sure if I’m his girlfriend either. You’ll know when I know. And I’m just going to pretend that I’m 20, so that I way I can be dating again without breaking my resolution AND there will only be 9 years between us. And yay for dates. Go EAGLES! Being (a teeny eeny weeny bit) slutty (as long as you don’t feel guilty or have moral objections) (I don’t, by the way) is a hell of a lot of fun.
P.S. Not a word of this to my parents, anyone. I don’t need any more grief from them.
P.S.S. Moving back into the dorms is time consuming. I am officially the filthiest person on earth. (Sorry, Katie.)
More transitions
Update: I am now single. Travis Schaefer’s perfect record has been tarnished. (Please don’t leave me stupid messages about this if you are not Travis.)
Moving on…
So. The longest I’ve been single since 7th grade is 2 months. That’s eight weeks. Roughly 60 days. That’s pitiful. How can I discover who I am if I am always with another person? I think that my constant relationship bouncing is holding me back. So, I will not have a rebound of a rebound of a rebound. NO!
I have decided that the most difficult thing I could possibly do is be single until I am 20, so that is what I have set out to do. That’s right, folks. I will NOT have a boyfriend, date anyone, or screw around with a guy until September 26, 2004. It’s only 10 months, and I highly doubt that the man of my dreams will enter and leave my life in such a short period of time. And if he does, then he wasn’t worth dating anyway. So, I have put it in writing so I will stick to it. No boys until I’m 20. Not even a little bit. We’ll see how it goes… wish me luck.
And it’s not like I’m joining a nunnery here, people. I still now how to have a good time, and I’m hoping being single for a while will help me figure out how to have more good times.
Brian “Butch” Schepel has an image problem. Set designer by day, artist by night, the New Yorker hasn’t gone to the barber in nine years, wobbles when he runs, and has an apartment that, in the words of one observer, “looks like a crack den.”
A day later (actually four days later, but that’s the magic of television), after a haircut, shopping trip, interior design and an all-over fake tan, the hapless heterosexual has been transformed by five gay fairy-godfathers and is ready for his first art show.
Welcome to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Bravo cable television network’s break-out hit, which draws roughly 1.7 million viewers each week, and a great deal of attention to the gay community. On the show, a panel of experts performs emergency transformations on straight men in need of serious help, one in each 60-minute episode. The cast of the show is the self-titled Fab Five, described on Bravo’s website as “an elite team of gay men who have dedicated their lives to extolling the simple virtues of style, taste and class.” In a slick animated opening, the Fab Five assemble like a postmodern queer superhero team. The ensuing evaluation and transformation are funny, sarcastic, and decisive, often filled with homosexual humor and innuendo.
Although it’s premise is superficial, Queer Eye is changing more than just grooming habits. It, along with other out-of-the-closet programming, is also changing America’s perspective on homosexuality. It manages to spark conversation, make viewers contemplate their own sexuality, break down stereotypes, and give great lifestyle advice, all in one perfectly coifed hour of television. Queer Eye is a show that is gay and proud of it; a show that has effortlessly crossed over into heterosexual living rooms; a show that portrays straight people and gay people as one happy community, creating ties over foie gras, haute couture, and the virtues of eyebrow waxing.
Granted, the new bond between gay and straight culture is made with extra hold hair gel, but it’s a start. Queer Eye’s producers do their best to approach their audience on multiple levels. They put on a noisy big-top show while engaging the pathos of both sides of what has long been a broad cultural divide.
Some critics, namely conservatives, are slow to acknowledge the show’s diverse appeal. “It’s stereotypical to think of only gay men as top-notch connoisseurs of food, wine, culture, design and grooming,” right-wing writer Brent Bozell argued in a recent column for Townhall.com. “How heterophobic. It’s the Gay Supremacy Hour. I’m sure I’m not the only one who reads Bravo’s ad copy and wonders if we’re talking hate crimes here. Ever seen a show more dedicated to a “straight-bashing” proposition?” Bozell’s case, however, is a weak one. Queer Eye’s hosts are experts first, homosexual second; their criticism of straight men is from the standpoint of a cultured professional, not a potential bedmate. And it’s hardly fair to label the show the “Gay Supremacy Hour.” Each episode celebrates the success of both sexualities, judging accomplishment by society’s values, not just the gay community’s. (A clean bathroom and tidy closet are achievements in any household.)
That’s not to say Queer Eye lacks character. The show’s quick wit and sexual tension only add to its ubiquitous charm. Such an unapologetic presentation of gay people couldn’t have come at a better time. Queer Eye’s willingness to explore homosexuality and American culture has brought the gay-rights movement much positive publicity. As a result, homosexuality in our society has shifted from a taboo to a daily topic of conversation. And with conversation comes acceptance. Since the show’s well-dressed debut in July 2003, the Supreme Court decided to strike down Texas’ anti-sodomy laws, Howard Dean (the governor of Vermont who legalized gay marriages there) gained support as a presidential candidate, an openly gay priest was promoted to bishop in the Episcopalian church, and Wal-Mart, America’s largest employer, extended its anti-discrimination policy to cover gay workers. Whether water cooler small talk, scholarly debate, or dialogue among Supreme Court justices, the arguments Queer Eye is introducing are much deeper than the choice between boxers and briefs. Queer Eye, like all quality television, has had and will continue to have tremendous influence because it gets people talking.
One of the show’s biggest draws is its credibility; each of the program’s five gay style experts is an authority in his own field. Wine and food specialist Ted Allen, for example, is an editor of “Esquire” magazine and a published restaurant critic. Kyan Douglas, the show’s ‘grooming guru,’ earned his cosmetology certification from the Aveda Institute in New York and has worked as a colorist at an upscale salon in Soho. And although stylist Carson Kressley and culture expert Jai Rodriguez’ credentials are not as strong as their colleagues’, the results of their work are always impeccable. In fact, the show could be called “Expert Eye for the Dumb Guy” and still be a critical success. They wouldn’t garner nearly as much attention, but the hosts would still have a great sense of humor, give solid advice, and make darn good television if they were straight.
The biggest message Queer Eye sends is one of empowerment. Take, for example, the title of the show, which includes the gay slur “queer.” At first glance, audiences and critics might interpret the word as a flippant jab at homosexual culture. Upon deeper inspection, though, one finds that that the word “queer” has recently been appropriated by the gay political movement as a term of prideful self-identification. (Blasius 120) The show’s title then takes on a new connation, in which the ideas of “queer” and “straight” are juxtaposed and given equal credence. Like the show itself, the title works on many levels. By exposing stereotypes and poking a little fun at human sexuality, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy helps create a common bond between homosexual and heterosexual cultures.
In the process, Queer Eye runs the risk of perpetuating stereotypes: specifically, that all gay men are lisping and limp-wristed. It’s true that some of the hosts embody the flaming sitcom stereotype of raging queens, but they at least bring depth to the role by being funnier and more self-aware. In an interview with Rob Owen for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, Queer Eye’s Carson Kressley laughed off any concerns about furthering gay stereotypes. “We don’t have a florist,” he joked. “If someone says we look great or we have great hair or we’re really good dancers, we’re all for it. When you see the show, and you watch it, you see the real heart of the show; you realize that we’re just six guys hanging out. We just wind up being friends. Those stereotypes kind of fall by the wayside.”
Television critic Terry Sawyer disagrees. “Stock representations are a mixed bag at best,” he said when he reviewed Queer Eye for PopMatters. “On the one hand, gays become lauded for their alleged virtues: aesthetic superiority and brassy wit. On the other hand, those illusory victories simply reify and subtly reinforce the incoherent category of oppression that corralled everyone together in an ill-fitting noose in the first place.” Critics like Sawyer who decry the show’s value because of its sometimes flamboyant, caricaturist tendencies are selling the gay community short. Collectively, the boys of Queer Eye don’t represent gay men as a whole any more than the Cosby family represents all black Americans or the cast of “Saved by the Bell” represents America’s entire population of high school students. No one TV program can demonstrate the breadth of a culture-or, in the case of gay men, a culture within a culture.
Thankfully, Queer Eye doesn’t even try. Instead, it sticks to what it knows best, improving the lives of its ‘victims’ and its viewers one makeover at a time. The show’s motto is “We’re not out to change to world, just make it better.” And that’s the whole key to its success. It’s highly charged, cheeky representation of gay and straight culture has stimulated the most superficial layers of American society. However, its most important — and most lasting– effect will be the more tolerant, emotionally stylish generation of viewers it creates.
At least I didn’t get a ticket.
So, we all know that I can’t drive very well. I’ve never gotten a ticket, but that’s probably because I don’t actually drive fast enough to register as a moving object on police radar guns. I’ve also never gotten into a wreck. (Well, except for this summer when a chunk of tire from some blowout accosted my front bumper on I-45; who knew that a seemingly harmless piece of rubber could cause so much damage?) But, technically speaking, I’ve never gotten into a wreck.
I’ve never really learned to park, either. When my mom was teaching me how to drive in the high school parking lot, she would say “If you have to parallel park, it’s not a good parking spot,” pointing me to the empty spots at the far, far end of the lot. I figured that she was probably right, and resigned myself to a lifetime of leaving my car in the dark corners of parking lots and getting big calf muscles while I walked to wherever I needed to go.
Here at UT, they have very different ideas about what constitutes a good parking space. Basically, any open sliver of curb is up for grabs, as long as you have the correct permit, and it’s not between 7:45 and 5:45 on weekdays.
On Friday evening, after going to Player’s with some friends, I decided to park my car by my dorm so I could run up and get a few things from my room before I headed to Beth’s house to spend the night. That was a bad idea.
On my way to Littlefield, I passed a man with some dogs. I got so excited, I pulled over and asked him if I could pet his dogs. He said I could. They were so cute! Their names were Bobby and Max, and they licked my face. Petting them was fun, but it made me miss Buddy, and think about maybe never seeing him again. There was a lump in my throat, but I was determined not to cry. After I got back into my car, the Longhorn Band walked by, playing Wabash. It was all over then. Seeing the cymbal line and the drum majors made me think about high school marching band, and I just started sobbing.
None if this would have been that bad, except when I got to Littlefield, there were no far corners of the parking lot. In fact, there was no parking lot at all- just little partitions of curb on the side of the street. I realized with dread that I did not know how to park on the side of the street, but I decided to give it my best shot anyway. I pulled half-way into a spot between two HUGE trucks. “I have a small car,” I thought. “This will be easy.”
I scooched in and out of the little spot for like 10 minutes before the police officer came. He apparently had been watching me wriggle my car around in the space, trying to get closer to the curb.
“What are you doing?” he asked me when he pulled up next to the car.
“Trying to parallel park,” I said. He stopped his car and got out and came to talk to me.
“Are you sober?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, and started to cry. “It’s just that I really miss my puppy, and I am not good at parking.” I blubbered for about 10 more seconds, and I can’t really remember exactly what I told him.
Long story short, the police officer told me to get out of the car and proceeded to park it for me. Then he gave me a referral to the mental health clinic.(!) When I asked him if he was going to give me a ticket, he said, “I can’t give you a ticket for not knowing how to drive.”
Sigh. How humiliating. Basically, I’m crazy and I can’t drive. Will they give me a deduction on my insurance if I go to the mental health clinic? Too bad the counselor’s office doesn’t work like defensive driving.
I will concede that getting a little card about depression from the police officer is much better than getting an expensive ticket from the police officer, even though it was really embarrassing.
I don’t think I’ll be visiting any psychiatrist’s office, but at least I won’t be visiting the parking violations office either.
