Enjoy this sampling of my rejected tweets from the past week.

• Just now CNN aired a story about a baby that fell onto some train tracks and survived. The announcer said, “I think that baby was in the hands of God.” That’s nice, but I wonder if he would have said, “Hail the power of Beezlebub,” if the baby had died?

• This week I ate cheese grits and soft boiled eggs for three out of four dinners. The other dinner consisted of two cinnamon toaster strudels and apple juice.

• Rami’s cat Turner was acting weird Wednesday night and had to go to the vet Thursday.  He was so mean at the office that they needed to sedate him in order to get the diagnosis: he ate too much kitten food, got nauseated, no problem.  Turner’s new nickname is Mr. Grumbles.

• A generic cold virus is causing my flu-like respiratory symptoms. Bummer: no drugs, no immunity from future flu, sickies. Bonus: no one is invading my personal space at the airport today.